each parent has to come to that realization and it is the MOST un-natural thing as a parent to leave our child out n the cold so to speak. i am no expert just walking this same road as all of the parents on here. im learning how to detach and it rips the heart right out of me. its like an evil alien has take over my daughter and its her face n voice i hear. so im fooled at times when the monster is in full control with the cries for help in the moment i have to say no almost ever time now would your husband consider reading all the post on this site
I think denial is normal. If it's not denial, it's lack of the correct information. I agree. See if he is open to reading the posts here. Good luck! !
Just want to tell you I know the emotional devastation that having a drug addict child brings. Nar anon has been a life saver for me. See if you can find a local naranon group and go... You won't regret it.
C, Forgive me if I'm all wet here. It's from my personal experience and yours may be totally different.
You have a gift of being able to step back and see more of what's going on because you're not as attached as your husband is. Thank you so much for reading the posts here because we don't want to enable our children, but they are our children and we want the best for them.
I just want to make sure that your marriage remains strong and intact because this can tear apart a nuclear family. Be aware that your husband is likely doing the best he can and knows how to do. He's as lost as you are, most likely. Be gentle with him and with yourself. He needs you and I'm so happy that you're here looking for help/support/answers. I wish I had some answers for you, but that's my best advice.
I just made the decision, today, to quit enabling my daughter. My husband was the one always scolding me for doing so as the recipient of his badgering, insulting, and convicting me, it is so very heartbreaking having to deal with his attitude along with trying to save my daughter. Last night we had a terrible fight about it and he threatened to leave. I had to choose my marriage which I hope will, in ways, save my beloved daughter someday. Please be patient and loving to him. All he does is love your child and may be in denial and doesn't want to hurt him. Hopefully in time your husband will make his own decision like I did. All I have been able to do today is cry because I will have to tell her NO for the very first time and I am hurting so very badly!
Hang in there, Renee. God be with you and yours.
Beth, mother of a drug-addict.